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Below is a a recap of our conversation (if you don't want to watch the whoel live, recorded above)
It was a pleasure to talk with Kelly today! Grateful that I got to provide insight into the process of potty training, emphasizing the importance of understanding the individual needs of families and utilizing specific methods, such as Elimination Communication, to help potty train children, even those with special needs. The conversation also outlines strategies such as scheduling regular encouragement and being positive throughout the process.
In order, here is a breakdown of what we talked about. The timestamp is approximate because it was based off a different recording, but the order is correct :)
1. Unraveling The Mystery Of Potty Training: Tips And Tricks From Potty School Expert Michelle (00:00 - 06:03)
2. Parents Practices Elimination Communication with Kids (06:03 - 11:41)
3. Teaching Elimination Communication: Making Sound Associations for Toilet Training (11:42 - 16:50)
4. Getting Ready for Potty Training (16:50 - 17:14)
Potty training can be a challenging process for parents, but thanks to the insight gained through experience with a child with cerebral palsy, as well as observations of the potty training routines of children in Nicaragua, the process became easier for me. Elimination Communication is a potty training method that uses verbal cues and physical signs and body language to help young children and those with special needs learn to use the restroom when needed. This practice can start as early as infancy. Unlike potty training where parents are encouraged to create a consistent potty schedule, elimination communication is based more on the communication between the child and the caregiver rather than a set schedule.
Having the right equipment and understanding the potty-training process can help make it easier for parents.
Different families have specific needs when it comes to potty training, so provide support for each case.
Elimination Communication (EC) is a pottying method which uses verbal, body language, and cues to alert a caregiver when a baby needs to relieve him or herself.
We talked through Elimination Communication, a useful technique to help younger children become potty trained, as well as discusses age appropriateness and precautions to take while practicing elimination communication.
In order, are the second half of our interview.
1. The Secrets of Successful Potty Training
2. Potty Training and Special Needs: Elimination Communication For All Ages
3. Potty Training: Tips and FAQs for 2- to 5-Year-Olds
4. Embracing Special Needs Potty Training
5. Celebrating Milestones in Parenting: A Conversation with Michelle from The Potty School
The timestamps are off below, but here is the transcription, for those who prefer to read rather than listen:
Happy Tuesday, everyone, we are here. We had a little technical glitch. So we're, we're starting the live over again today. We're talking to Michelle from The, Potty School about Potty training. A very popular topic amongst our, our viewers. Something that it's a rite of passage for everyone. Let's, so it can be mentally draining on parents. It can be,
it requires mental toughness. I definitely had a reward system for myself that was not stickers, but we got through it and you will too. So we're pretty excited to have her. For everyone who had a technical difficulty with us, Michelle was a spinning circle instead of face. So she just joined. We're gonna get back going and talk about Potty training.
So super excited to have her. And here, here we go. See if she's more than a spinning circle. That's all we had last time. Let's see here. Let's see if we can get her going. There my face. Hello. Hey, there's your face. We did it. Excellent. All. So hopefully everyone who was with us and off,
we'll, we'll come back, but nice to see you in person. You're, this is a topic, we'll, we'll take a little time while, while everyone who was with us fill off comes back, but this is live and your viewers as well as ours can access it later. We'll post it, we'll share it. And it, it's a topic that obviously is,
is something that everyone goes through, right? And there's often some, some anxiety around it for parents. Perhaps. I've done it a few times. I was just telling everyone it, it requires mental toughness on my part. It was kind of one of those dreaded things, but we got through it and there was a reward system that did not involve stickers for me.
But, but we, we got through it. And so I, I'm excited to talk to you today about kind of the tips, tricks and any, any feedback that you have for folks because this too shall pass. And that's somewhat of a pun, but also very true. I just kept reminding myself, well they aren't gonna go to high school Diapers,
so we'll be good. Right? So, alright, well let's kick it off here. I have, I'd like to start these, this is the toolbox series since you're joining us for the first time and anyone else who's joining us for the first time. This happens most Tuesdays. It's something that, my family's company, prince Langhart, we've been around for 50 years.
We do actually make Potty equipment, which I believe is the best in the industry. Oh, I know I have some in my garage cause my kids are bigger in my bathroom. Anything, every bathroom in my house right now. And it's something that I think equipment matters and when they're comfortable and they feel safe and secure, I think it, it makes the process easier.
But we do all kinds of stuff outside of, of Potty. Yeah. We start doing this checkbox series and maybe a year. No, cause I felt like, you know, as a parent when you know better, you do better and we only know what we know. Well I only knew what I knew from my parents and so I, you know what?
Yep, we make durable processes. Why don't we give parents some, some tools in their toolbox. And so we talk to experts in their field such as yourself. We talked to all kinds of people, not just Potty training experts, but sleep consultants. We do doulas, nurses, occupational therapists, physical therapists, speech therapists, chiropractors, thermography, specialists for our own boobs,
you know, a breastfeeding specialist, all kinds of stuff. Everything around kind of parenting and also like peaceful parenting experts and stuff like this to give parents tools, a metro box. So thank you for joining us as an expert and I like off kind of finding out how you found your way along your journey so that you started The Potty School and became an extrovert in Potty training.
So tell us a little bit about how you found your way. Thank you for having Stephanie scenes, but I'm Kelly. Yeah. Oh you're Kelly. Sorry. Hi Kelly. Magic. Yeah. Anyway, I do believe in your product so I'm excited to be here because I don't really like partnering with companies that I'm like not so much. So this is a fun opportunity to be with you guys.
As far as, I wanna go back a little bit because you did say it's not likely that my kid will end up in high school in Diapers and I do just wanna give that a shout out to the special needs families that might have kids who in Diapers in high school, your junior high. That it is maybe not something that's gonna pass. So I wanna just recognize that and realize that for most of your typical kids it is gonna be a short part of your life and it will have an insight.
But as far as how I kind of found my way to this, I was in college and I helped with a kiddo who had cerebral palsy and I remember his mom telling me like, oh he has different sounds for different things. I was like, it kind of just sounds like he's screaming all the time, but okay if you say so. Started to lock that away.
Learned a lot about him, learned a lot about what his sounds meant. Like he had a cry from before seizures and he had a cry for, you know, after he had a bowel movement. Like different sounds for different things. And then that just kind of got tucked away. Then I went to Nicaragua and met this gal who lived very, very rurally and had like multiple children all Potty training age and one diaper on her kid,
one kid and one diaper hanging on a little line. And she was like, OHS. And I was like, it's raining, like how this doesn't logically make sense. How can you have two Diapers for your, you know, kids in Diapers age And she practices Elimination Communication. And that opened up my eyes to that because I had no name for it.
It was just what she did. I was like, can I just follow you around for the day and see what this looks like? So she really, I mean I think poor just information into me that I did absolutely nothing with until I had a 10 month old running around, well he was on the verge of walking and he was wearing cloth Diapers.
And I was like, I do not want poop running through my house. So how do we fix this? And I kinda did a couple Google searches, found some things in other languages. I was like, wait, this is what I know about this is what this gal was showing me. So it really was just a mom who was taking her care of her kids who took the time to kind of like bring me into her life.
And I think that's how, I mean that's what you're setting this, these sessions up to be is just having moms or parents who maybe are a couple steps ahead of you on the journey, give their insight to kind of encourage people along the way. And that's really all I feel like we ever need is someone to encourage us and someone who has a little bit more wisdom,
who's empathetic enough and understands enough to encourage us. I hopefully that That's great. So do you have any kids of your own that you've taken through the Potty training process? That's a great question. I have three kids and then we also have, my husband and I do and then we also have taken care of a lot of kids through a program at the time called Safe Families now called Strong Families.
But sort of a volunteer pre foster care program. And it's been an awesome opportunity to ask people like, hey, while they're at our house for multiple weeks, she want us to party train them. And most people will not say no to that offer. So I'm like, yeah, you know, I would never do that with someone without a parent's permission.
But I'm like, they're on my watch, I'm good at this. I would love to help you. And so that's kind of how the, the business part stirred. Cause people were like, wait, how'd you get that kid outta Diapers? It's like, well, and my, to me this was it. It was hard and different because people have their sticker preferences and parents have their,
you know, I want M mss, no I want raises. No I want nothing. I want high fives. I want songs. And to kind of learn from all these different parents how they wanted their kids parented gave me a lot of information. So I did practice Elimination Communication with all of my kiddos. So that's how I started things. And then people asked about Potty training.
I'm like, well actually I have experience in that too cuz we posted these kiddos and then people asked about special needs. I was like, wait a minute. But special needs can be really similar to some of what I've already done with the Elimination Communication and some of my background too. So that was a great opportunity and I've really enjoyed special needs. So yeah.
So we've, we've, we've talked about Potty training folks in the past and what we haven't talked much about is Elimination Communication. So it sounds like when you are, even when you're bringing kiddos into your home and offering to Potty train them, you said you started kind of with Elimination Communication. So, so is okay not with dad, where she knows who are already two years old.
It's just straight Potty training. Like you wanna start and you wanna get this thing done. Elimination Communication is more about the actual communication. Your child is signing something, they may not have the words to verbalize it. They're making, you know, certain fluctuations and the sounds they make or their face is making, you know, like the poop. Everybody knows the poop sitting at the table.
Diapers and I, I get the, I get the face like, yeah, that, oh my, yeah, I, I fully have a cartoon that looks exactly like what your face just looked like. He's like, Heidi's like, Hey, are you pooping? Nope. No I'm not. I love it. I go, oh, okay. Wondering.
Okay, so let's, maybe we start with Elimination Communication. That's something you talk about. You start how, what age, what age is, is, I mean I know it's pretty often verbal, but I mean you start from Elimination, Communication often doesn't involve words at all. So that's actually why some of those I kept, I used to be very particular,
I would teach an Elimination Communication class and I would teach a Potty training class and I would teach a special needs class to particularly autistic children. And that it didn't work for so many parents because they needed, they would say, I'm following this parenting philosophy. I'm like, well that doesn't go along with this and that doesn't, you know, your preference here doesn't go along with this.
So I make things a mix a lot of the time for families cuz that's what is practical for them. That's sort of the joy of being able to do with a consultation since you get to catering to people. But as far as what Elimination Communication is, it starts as soon as that baby's born. I've done plenty of consult with parents who are expecting,
whether it's a baby in utero or it's a baby who they're expected to adopt just to learn the process. And it's just a sound association. So when they're actively paying your food, you're making a sound association like it. So it, how we do it in the US generally speaking is a T and sign language, shake it back and forth. That stands for toilet and ASL sign language.
And then you make a sound, whether it's or for poop. So is pee. Yeah, I know you're kind of just sounding like it. And other countries, they'll use a whistle, people will sing a song, they'll whistle by themselves. Like it doesn't matter. The whole point is that you're associating some other thing outside of the kiddo's body, in this case,
straight, normal Elimination Communication, I would say it's a sound association, but you could associate it with a lot of different things. It could be a tap on mom's leg, it could be ringing a bell. Like there are a lot of different ways to actually train the association. But generally it's this. And then you get to the point where the association of that sound is so close and the child's mind that you can put the kiddo on the toilet make that sound and they'll,
I know it's crazy, crazy. I thought it was crazy when I started. I was like, I'm not even gonna tell my husband I'm home with my kid all day long. If I mess it up, I'm pretty sure I won't screw him up forever. And I just tried one day after nap and I was like, okay, we'll see how this goes.
Took him put out like a tarp on the ground, put out a big blanket, had some toys and a little Potty and he always poop after nap. That was like very regular. So that was obviously to my of benefit, but put him on there, got the poop in the toilet. I was like making the sound. This is amazing. And within the week,
like we were getting consistent poop in every day and I've broken the system that what is going on? So it was really fun because at that point I'm like, I, I am not the Potty trainer who says I really like P and Poo and I really like the Potty training process. I'm like, no, I really like kids and I really like parents and I would really like this part of the parenting process like to be done so you can enjoy your kid because like in the movie is not actually fun.
So I would rather it be out of the equation and, but you get to celebrate it. I mean, kids are so proud of themselves when they make the first milestones of, you know, pushing their pants down or yeah, they got their own toilet paper. These are big kids. That's so that's amazing. So I had an thought that came in my head,
which, you know, your, your poop sounds sounds like clearing your throat. If it was like imagine Oh yeah, like clearing their throat and the kid's like, oh, poop. That's, I think it, I mean it sounds magical. I never did Elimination Communication with my kids. I have my, my son, he, he sees his older sister,
you know, going on the Potty and stuff like that. And he always goes, you know, Potty Potty, he's still in his Potty Potty. And I go, okay, you wanna try? It's after he's already pe his diaper and then he just sits there and he just sits there and hangs out. I'm like, okay, he's good try.
But yeah, so that's one thing. So technically, I mean, he's been talking about, you know, Potty and telling me he has poo poo in his diaper and stuff, which is all good, right? It's all signs that's not like sitting in anymore before it's like, Hey, go poop. He goes, no, want me to change your diaper?
No, he likes sitting in it. It's like you, but now he's getting ready. I'm not ready because there, there's no mental, mental toughness. So I mean that's, I'm not, I know that people are like, oh my god, Diapers are easy. Right? Diapers are often easy because if you're going in a car ride or something,
you don't have to get off on the side of the road or you know, they're still learning their muscles and when they, sometimes when they have to go, they have to go like staff, like pullover. So I'm, I'm getting their hope. I'm hoping by the end that I'll be motivated to like, okay, let's do this and then I'll have no more in Diapers.
Well she isn't, yeah, well he's already kind of booed me through this. Like, I, so, so there's, I'd say there's five stages of training, but there's kind of four stages to their abilities to do it. And the first one is they have no recognition that they, and honestly, you might argue with me about it, and that's okay,
but most of the time that's really, really little one's like zero to six months old. Because when a kid's like run here and like they're knowing something's happening and your kiddo is verbalizing that something's happening or that happens. Yeah. So he at least is at the point, he's like, I poop. So instead like, there's no recognition, he's past that stage.
So he's now in the stage of like, I already poop with him. So the next stage would be I am going to poo and then the, or pee. And then the next stage would be like, I can identify somebody else needs to go to the bathroom. So that would be like the ideal older child. He's like, ah, no brother has to go and come take him.
So, right. That's, that's the goal. Yeah. He's definitely in the stage where he's not enjoying sitting in it and he wants to, he's just getting a little bit after the fact like, oh, oh, I gotta go Potty. He's like, no, you gotta have pee. I mean, I can help that by like, you know,
doing that. Okay. Every window, you know, let's, let's go every whatever, 15, 30. I'm just not ready. I, I get too much going on right now. So I think there's.
...
Just tried one day after nap. And I was like, okay, we'll see how this goes. Took him, put out like a tarp on the ground, put out a big blanket, had some toys and a little Potty and he always cooked after nap. That was like very regular. So that was obviously to my benefit, but put him on there,
got the poop in the toilet. I was like making the sound. This is amazing. And within the week, like we were getting consistent poop in every day and I, I've broken the system, what is going on? So it was really fun because at that point I'm like, I, I am not the Potty trainer who says I really like P and Poo and I really like the Potty training process.
I'm like, no, I really like kids and I really like parents and I would really like this part of the parenting process like to be done so you can enjoy your kid. Cause when is not actually fun. So I would rather it be out the equation, but you get to celebrate. I mean, kids are so proud of themselves when they make their first milestones of,
you know, pushing their pants down or they got their own toilet paper. Like these are big kids That's had thought that came in head, which, you know, your, your poop sounds sounds like clearing a throat. If it was like, if imagine, oh yeah, you know, you have someone over there like clearing their throat and the kid's like,
oh, got a poop. Just Like my, Oh my God, that's, I think it, I mean it sounds magical. I never did Elimination Communication with my kids. I have my, my son, he, he sees his older sister, you know, going on the Potty and stuff like that and he always goes, you know, Potty Potty,
he's still in diaper. He goes, Potty, Potty. And I go, okay, you wanna try? It's after he's already peed his diaper and then he just sits and he just sits there and hangs out. I'm like, ok, good try. But yeah, so that's one thing. So technically, I mean he's been talking about, you know,
Potty and, and telling me he has poo poo in his diaper and stuff, which is all good, right? It's all science. That's not like sitting in it anymore before it's like, Hey, go poop. He goes, you want me to change your diaper? No, he like sitting in it, it's like, ew. But now he's getting ready,
I'm not ready because there, there's an element of that's toughness. So I mean that's, I'm not, I know that, that people are like, oh my god, Diapers are easy, right? Diapers are often easy because if you're going in a car ride or something, you don't have to get off on the side of the road or you know,
they're still learning their muscles and when they, sometimes when they have to go, they have to go like stack, like pullover. So I'm, I'm getting there. I'm hoping by the end that I'll be motivated to like, okay, let's do this and then I'll have no more in Diapers. Well, is it? Yeah, well she's already kinda moving through the,
like I, so there, so there's, I'd say there's five stages to Potty training, but there's kind of four stages to their abilities to do it. And the first one is they have no recognition that they, Peter and honestly, you might argue with me about it and that's okay, but most of the time that's really, really little ones like six months old because when kids like,
and like they're knowing something's happening and your kiddo is verbalizing that something's happening or that happens. Yes. So he at least is at the point where he's like, I ped. So instead like there's no recognition, he's past that stage. So he's now in the stage of like, I already pooped him. So the next stage would be I am going to poo and then the,
or pee. And then the next stage would be like, I can identify somebody else needs to go to the bathroom. So that would be like the ideal older child who's like, ah, no brother has to go take him. Right. That's, that's the goal. Yeah. He's definitely in the stage where he's not enjoying sitting in it and he wants to,
he's just getting a little bit after the like, oh I gotta go's Like no, I, I can help that by like, you know, doing that. Okay, every window, you know, let's, let's go every whatever, 15, 30. I'm just not ready. I I got too much going on right now. So I think there's a point to be made that both parties need to be ready.
Right? Mom, dad or parents and then the child cuz for sure, Yeah. I be ready. So Yeah, you gotta help facilitate the process. So, so what, what would you say, it sounds like Elimination Communication starts very young and then is there an, is that kind of like they end up going to the bathroom being call it train early?
I would imagine What is kind Yeah, generally speaking, like by the time, if you're consistent, I mean they can be done and independent. And when I say independent I mean they know they need to go, they can convey it to you in whatever method you've chosen. They can get to the bathroom, get to the toilet and for some kids they're still growing at that age.
So they're like nine months old and they're crawling towards a Potty and picking it up. You take off their diaper, pop 'em on it and they go like, you can't expect more than that from a nine month old. Right? Like you can't expect them to say, mommy, I need to go Potty. So when people say, oh my kid isn't initiating or isn't saying verbally they need to go to the bathroom.
I'm like, well that doesn't necessarily mean they're not able to do it. Like I had a not, I had a speech delay kiddo who was done and out of Diapers by the time she could say data and like recognize who he was. So I, I know kids are different and that's not the same for everyone. She didn't have other developmental delays going on.
It was solely the speech. But she would sign and so instead of signing with her dominant hand, it's, which is hard to figure out when you have a little one, right? But we figured it out by like, eh, 16 months or so. And so she would sign, it was actually earlier than that, but she would sign with her non-dominant hand and then she didn't have dexterity,
she wasn't very, she couldn't go like this, it just wasn't gonna happen, right? So she would just go like this and so people would think she was waving to them and there's, we go to church but there's this one girl at church in the daycare and she's like, oh she'll wait and then way back and she'll cry. I'm like, oh she's not waving,
she's telling you take me Potty. She's like, oh really? Well I could do that. And so then she actually got on board and took her and it was great cause she's like, we have such this special blonde, she'll just like come over to me, top my leg, do this and then I'll take her to the bathroom, sit her down,
like she'll go and then we'll come back and everything's happy. I'm like, that's hopefully like that's in theory what we would love to happen. But Elimination Communication is like zero to 17 months. So these are not super verbal kids at that point. And then I'd say Potty training is like 18 months to, at this point, about five years or so is what I'd say.
And then we put special needs anywhere from zero, like a kid that has a pre, like a pre-birth diagnosis like down syndrome or something like that. Like you could start that whole Elimination Communication process upon birth if you wanted to through about 10 years is sort of our cap on it. People always push me, but if you have an age limit then people will push you and it won't be a senior citizen.
So that's, Well that's, that's interesting. So for those of you who are interested in elimina, Elimination Communication, which sounds like pure magic to me. It's like, is this this magic that you're speaking of? I've heard about it. I've actually seen itty bitty babies on our like toilet trainers and I was like, what? Like Baby is so tiny And I mean technically a toilet seat reducer so that kids don't fall inside the toilet and gives that that kind of foundational safety and security that their,
you know, need in order to relax their, their muscles. So that's why, going back to the fact that equipment matters, in my mind I've seen it time and time again. And so I'm, I'm a big fan of equipment when you're, when you're taking on this process at any, Okay, face your back too. There's, there's like a culture with Elimination Communication that it's so much about bonding that you're constantly holding your child.
I'm like, I have three children and we've posted 12 others, like you're back needs some, like you gotta be careful. So holding your kid over the toilet all the time as they're nine months old, be 12 months old. At some point you really have to get a dose to reality and like pop that kid on a seat reducer because it's not,
it's not you're gonna Well then I face that way too, which I think is more enjoyable actually. Makes sense. I love It. We make a two step, two steps step stool and body train. And I also sit on it in the shower when I'm bathing you because I mean, and it's a step stool so when they get older they can step on it and in the meantime I sit on so Yeah,
because you're Yeah. Oh Yeah, for all the Bats, I'm, I'm, my knees are too old. Now's painful. Okay, so I love that. So I'm, we can talk forever about Elimination Communication on sound cause it's for me. But you, you do have a website and you do have information on your website and obviously you consult. I love,
I've never met anyone who addresses Elimina Elimination, Communication Potty training and special needs, which is awesome because we have special needs in our house. We have, you know, kids are kids, they're all different. But we have, you know, where it's like, okay, you're right. You know, I I in my mind it was like, okay,
high school for some people it's not that we've had parents write into us saying, you know, it's amazing my 14 year old, you know, still use your seat but can you make 'em bigger? You know, and it's like, I wish I, you know, so we, we've looked at it, we've talked about it. I mean it's every parent is on this journey with their child.
Every child's different and I love that you are the person that I found who is most kinda spreading across as many kids as I've ever I've ever met. So thank you for doing It's awesome. Your experience is a crazy trip, right? How you started with looking after a case SW palsy and then gonna Nicaragua and finding out about what is this magic, it's a trip.
I love this journey. So, so we're, we're grateful that you, you took that journey so that you can help reach out to all these parents. So in terms of pie training, which is 18 months to five years, maybe you can just kind of give us your frequently asked questions and, and what you want parents so that I, I can hand it over to you and you can kind of do your thing because I wanna also,
you know, do the same thing with special needs so that we can kind of hit on these things. And then parents in this session can certainly go, okay, this is what resonates with me in our household. And, and, and then they can look for out to you directly or we can do another one that just focuses on one or the other.
So let's go Potty training. Take it away. Yeah, Potty training. So I would say there's two most common questions. One of them is, well there's a couple, but one of the number one most off asked question is when do I start? And I kind of wanna grit my teeth because I definitely believe in Elimination Communication but I, I'm very aware that that is just not the path for so many families and when I taught classes in Orange County,
I'm in California, right? And that's, it's just not the culture. It's, I mean there's punching vibe but then most people wanna Potty train their kid, they want not think about it and they want to have their kid in Diapers because that's what's culture and culturally normal and that's what's everyone around them is doing. And so they don't even think about it until at least like two years old.
So I would say the appropriate age in our culture is probably between two to three years. Developmentally I would say it's actually very much advantageous to be about 12 years to, or sorry, 12 months to 18 months just because they have not hit their nose stage yet. They're not throwing the giant fits. They're usually not inviting stages yet. Just like all these developmental things that a kiddo is starting to learn how to express themselves and their desires more.
It's so much easier to pop a kiddo on the toilet. Okay It's not forceable, they're not upset about it. Your mommy's right there, daddy's right there with them. And so like it is a bonding experience and it's a lot easier I would say if you start a little earlier, not really the normal piece of advice but I, I have seen the other end of it where people wait until their kiddos 4, 5, 6 years old and it's a battle and it gets into,
yeah, just being a lot longer younger and more argumentative process. So that I would say is the number one question people often ask, is it easier to Potty train boys or is it easier to Potty train girls? And I wish there were some answer and I know that people go, go back and forth and they give their statistics but seriously I've read so much you don't even wanna know like so much Potty training information and so much research not just from our country cuz I only care so much what our little society thinks.
I wanna know about past generations. There's not much research but current generations and other cultures what other people do cause it's not like we're doing it right just because I live here. So boys and girls are just different anatomically they are different. And so if you have somewhere for a little boy to aim, sometimes he needs help aiming his penis. Like that's just is what it is.
But as far as boys versus girls, I wouldn't say there's a huge difference. I actually train both sitting down. So to start off with, so I think that might be the biggest difference if parents Potty train their boys standing up to start off with that is a little bit more difficult in my experience. And then as far as the standup, go ahead.
If you start down when you transition to standing for the boys when they're, I would say when they're getting it consistently actually the toilet for like two weeks in a row. Gotcha. So not that long. And it could even be sooner than that. If there's a male who's standing and the kiddo sees them and that's their heart's desire, you know, whatever,
throw a towel on the ground and let them be like big brother or dad or whomever, like it doesn't really matter. This isn't the privacy of your own bathroom. So sometimes I think people make it a big dirty deal. I'm like guys you're actually in the toilet this morning my daughter was, you know, she woke up dry, we still have a diaper on her at night but she's been waking up dry,
which is awesome and she wakes up in the morning, she goes wow feel. And I feel she goes, we high five each other and then she goes in the bathroom, she climbs up, she's sitting her toilet and then my son's over there and she goes, I need privacy, privacy please. And he's just standing there. As soon as she says privacy,
he wants to do the opposite. He's like, yeah, yeah well if she's, if she's asking for it though, like that's such a great opportunity to teach her what that means and what that looks like and how maybe in your own family with people that you trust and that these, you know, three people are the people we trust time. It's like okay she needs privacy,
let's back, let's give her, yeah she's so back to I derailed you so, so yeah so I'm totally what, what if I go through five stages so I have a membership and it goes through the five stages that I use. So preparation, so that's anything, any and everything. Trying to get your deck scenario ahead of time. A lot of people just decide it's memorial day,
I'm gonna Potty train tomorrow and there's no preparation. And then seriously, like the first week of June is always the most chaotic like disoriented consultations we have. They're sometimes comical but always really fun cause people are like, what was I thinking? Why didn't I prepare this little? And so it's fun to kinda backtrack and be like, well what could we have done better and what can we continue doing based on like how you guys have gone and the success you had or not had so far.
So that's anything from distributing ch family chores or who's taking what hours of the day, stuff like that preparation that you and your, if you have a co-parent can kinda decide ahead of time so that all those little intricacies get taken out of the process. And then the next one would be day training at home. So I would say don't plan to like Potty train the very first day at your mother-in-law's house unless you have an amazing mother-in-law,
which I do but I still wouldn't do it. True story. So day day like daytime at your home. And then the next stage would be a third stage is daytime away from home. So that would be taking trips out, that would be potentially daycare or preschool, whatever it is. And then the next stage would be nights and naps. You can do that as you're doing the other things,
I'll tell about the options in a second, but nights and naps sometimes can be a separate fourth stage. And then the last one would be all by myself. So kind of helping with those extra things that the kid needs to have independence for, like turning off and on the light washing their hands, getting a paper towel or a towel getting toilet paper,
things like that where maybe they're not proficient in wiping their bottom yet but you can teach them and still, still they're getting their poop and pee in the toilet. So that's really the goal of the Potty training. If they sit there and say, mama, mama, mama, mama like come white me. A lot of kids do that till they're five anyway.
Even if they started Potty training or Elimination, Communication really early cuz they're just not quite coordinated enough yet. So I'm gonna say, oh and as far as Potty training, some there are huge wide definitions, right? Some people will say my kid's Potty training just not for poop and my kid's done Potty training just not for poop. And in my mind I'm like what does that mean that they're not Potty trained?
Like but at the same time some people will say my kid's Potty training just not at night. And I'm like man that's fair, right? You have a different perception of what that means. This is not as important to your family or there's some issue if they're older like happening. Sometimes it's harder, sometimes it makes the daytime harder. But I basically say you can go 24 hours a day around the clock meaning naps and nighttime and all awake time you can just do awake time meaning no naps,
no nighttime, you can do just daytime. So meaning in the morning all the way through the evening, including nap time, meaning no Diapers in any of that time. So there's kinda four choices. Awesome. All right. And then so special needs obviously that's gonna be probably the one-on-one consulting is every child is different, but I love that you have that available.
Is there anything that you wanna tell any of the special needs parents who may be tuning in now or tuning in teacher? Yes, you are not alone. Like there are tons of you out there and I have gone into many a house and had many a parent who just feels like I'm too honestly too embarrassed to take my kid out because of X, Y and z.
And so much of it has to do with Potty training and it's heartbreaking that we don't embrace families more and just as parents it's, I think it's easy to be really proud of ourselves and our kids and those are great things but we just need to be really careful on how we present our success to other people whose kids might not ever have success that looks like that.
So special needs is I, I'm not dumb. I know there's a giant humongous mix in that. And I'll tell you the reason my heart for special needs is so big is because when I was pregnant with our second, she stopped growing in utero, like just stopped growing. So at full term she was four pounds, 11 ounces and they didn't think she was gonna even make it through birth.
They suggested aborting her at 35 weeks, which felt like crazy to me because she was kicking. I'm like, but there's someone in there and she made it through birth but she had a really rough struggle at the beginning of life. We couldn't even do genetic testing cuz she kept passing out when they were taking blood cuz her blood was really viscous, like really thick and all these things,
Billy Reen, crazy glucose, crazy limbs and organs, the wrong shape and size. Like everything was crazy. And now, I mean I wish she was standing right here. She's like this very intelligent nine year old who is so beyond anybody's expectations for her. But that is not how we started off. We started off and within I within a week had to embrace like we have a special needs kid and this is not gonna change and this is gonna be a lifetime.
And all of these hard conversations we're having every three hours in the NICU are probably gonna be every three days for the rest of her life. And how she developed and how things changed along the way. Like she wasn't using her arm as a little one and now she is like why? I don't know. But it, if nothing else, it definitely grew our family's heart to care about families that are in this all the time and don't have the bandwidth to like kind of do the research or have the experiences with so many different types of special needs families that we can bring it in.
Like I don't do EC, Elimination, Communication, Potty training and special needs because I want a huge customer base. I do it because all of them teach me things so that I can help other customers and I, I don't have enough experience on my or knowledge I don't think anyone does on their own to be able to teach people just based on book knowledge alone.
It's really the experiences and the insights I gain from those families. So there's a reason, I mean people have hesitancy with the term special needs and I'm like, but you are special and this is your little human and this is the way where they were created. And I just, I really, I have the heart to surround people going through things that for whatever reason our family isn't.
But we definitely thought we were going to be so that's world is lucky To have you in it Michelle. So thank you. That's awesome. I'm really glad your your daughter you know, pulled through and it's thriving so that's awesome. But yeah, it is especially needs it's mamas I give big hugs out too. It it's hard. Hard. Yeah But we do it.
Yeah because that's what we moms and dads and then we do it. So thank You. Thank you for being a Resource one. Yeah. You know the thing try to point out to steps needs families too is that when they're on typical kids go from A to B to C, we celebrate A, B and C and sometimes we notice nothing in the middle.
But when you stretch out every little success because instead of taking six months, it takes six years, you get A, B, C, D. And as much as it's tiresome and grueling to be able to get through all those little tiny milestones, like you now have 26 successes in your kids' life and you got to see every last one of them.
Like no one was celebrating the neurotypicals kid when they first did X, Y and Z cause nobody cared. But for you know, families that are in it and like it took six months to teach their kid to push down and pull up their pants, like that is a huge victory. And as much as it's a struggle and hard, like you got to celebrate every one of those milestones along with your kid.
And I feel like there's beauty in that. There's beauty in being able to recognize what they are capable of and how they are developing. When a lot of times people will look and say like they can't x, Y and Z or this IEP goal is has to get moved back again for the fourth time and your heart breaks cuz you're like, but my kid is moving in the right direction.
You know, but I wanna, I wanna be able to celebrate and have those, all of those celebrations along the way, not just like we're check we're done Potty training because again it could be a year's process, it could be a month's process, it could be a whole school district saying stop trying to Potty train your kid. We don't believe it's ever gonna happen.
Just put them in Diapers already. And then that's actually what we usually get contacted. Which is always an interesting time, right? Because you're like, wow, we're the blast, ditch effort. Okay let's see how this goes. But my question always before I step foot in someone's house is, do you believe your kid can make Potty in progress? Like,
and if the parent goes then I say, you know what, I think maybe this isn't a good fit. Like coming back when you actually think they can, that's happened once, but other parents are like, yeah that's what I'm calling you. Like the school district gave up on them and I really think they can. I'm like, alright, let's do it.
Let's, let's make the progress. What do you think they're capable of? Let's get them there. And the parents are usually right, they're usually right. They just need the support and guidance. Michelle. Well it was awesome. We didn't know we'd be tearful today, but you know what this is You're micro And that's what life is all about, right?
It's the present and that may get just kind otherwise taken for granted. But it's a good Reminder to every parent Neurotypical not, you know, kids are kids and they're our kids and we love them all. But yeah, I hear you. I I, I never had the comment to my husband about my oldest, but on my, you know, middle,
I'm like, look it, she's using her arm. You know, the arm that was never used, you know, it's all celebration. So. Well I thank you. Absolute pleasure meeting you and thank you to everyone who joined. Just so everyone knows you're all very quiet today, but if you ever found a lie, feel free to ask it cause we'll answer it.
And if you would like more from Michelle, you could find her at The Potty School. She also has a website, she has talked where she can help your family if you're still inclined. And yeah, it was just really nice spending time with you and getting in to know you. So thank you so much Michelle for your take care and thank you everyone for tuning in.
You'll see us next week Tuesday for a topic to be determined. I dunno what it is, but if you have any ideas, please let us know because Stephanie makes the magic happen and I'm just the mouthpiece. So Kelly, the mouthpiece well take. Karen, thanks for joining everyone. See you a good week. Bye. Happy Tuesday everyone.